The Dilemma (more tales from the workplace)

The other day was exactly that, just another day. I woke up too late to make myself breakfast, clothes are strewn across my room, bank account has too little in it, subway car was way crowded, and at work I'm still "the new guy" even though I was there the two previous summers as an intern.

However it was there at work where this day would become unlike any other. That day I held fate in my hands, I would be forced to make decisions that would affect the entire city. The world even. The balance of the universe tilted on my shoulders and my actions would dictate whether we all survived or perished.

Now lets back up a bit. I'm at my post in the studio controlling the audio board and cameras (I would soon control destiny as well). We were pre-taping stories so we wouldn't have to do them live. Everything was going according to plan. Normal. Politics, transit, weather, children laughed and victims wept, all was as it should be.

And then IT came. The story that would rock the very foundation that society itself was built upon!

The story itself seemed harmless, it was a piece on how the mayor wanted to make college more affordable for New Yorkers. (He should have been concerning himself on the possible upcoming onslaught of devastation that quietly approached like a silent fart from the family dog). We begin to tape the story and also down the road of destruction with an empty tank of gas 4, 4 big gulps of soda, and no rest stops in sight.

It all happened in slow motion.
The Technical Director say action and cues for sound.
The Anchor introduced the story and reads from the teleprompter.
Graphics are brought up.
Footage of the Mayor at a press conference...

And at that moment I glanced up and saw it. Clear as crystal Meth...

"F*ck Yoga"




In a shot of what was supposed to be generic college students contained the most feared word in broadcast television on a t-shirt illustrating immense disdain for yoga. Only the version on screen didn't contain any clever punctuation. It was all there, unedited.

I was mesmerized by the image on screen and was left speechless, however I expected someone else in the control room to make up for my silence.

The story continued, and ended. I spun around astounded that I hadn't heard the TD yell cut, the producer yelling on the phone feverishly, or the anchor demanding answers.

They Hadn't seen it. I was the ONLY one.

I began to open my mouth, then I stopped. I held immense power in my hands. If I didn't tell them, the image would make air. And imagine the whirlwind that would cause. Youtube videos,F-yoga t-shirts everywhere, lawsuits, phone calls, firings, witch hunts, the Apocalypse even. And I wouldn't be to blame, I was the audio guy, my only concern was the sound. The camera person didn't realize, neither did the producer that selected it, the anchor, or director. Why would I have?

As I sat contemplating the destruction of civilization at my hands, and wondering which country I should take over first after society collapsed on itself, I didn't realize I was giggling.

The producer asked what was funny and in a paranoid panic I blurted out childishly: "Hehe, that T-shirt had the f-word on it."

DAMN! As I realized my error and saw my hopes for domination slip through my fingers, they saw their folly an retaped the piece.

You win this time world, next time I will have you.

Oh and