Dear President Barack the day is new and bright,
I just finished my taco, and there is no toilet in sight
you preach on hope and responsibility
mean while my insides are killing me
No one holds as much control over destiny as you do
DEAR GOD DO I HAVE TO TAKE A MONSTROUS DOO DOO!!!
I call it The President and The Poo.
I am an artist.
I make jokes onstage. Sometimes people laugh.
Showing posts with label Presidential Race 08. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Presidential Race 08. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wow, so sad...
Taken from Hiphopdx.com
Two Arrested In Barack Obama Assassination Plot
October 27th, 2008 | Author: Andres Tardio
Law enforcement agents have announced that they have stopped an assassination plot that would have shot and decapitated more than 100 black people and Senator Barack Obama. The plan, set up by two Neo-Nazi Skinheads, was stopped by ATF agents and the report was released today by the US District Court in Jackson, Tennessee.
According to the reports, the plan was to rob a gun store and target a mostly African American high school to go on a killing spree. The two men charged with the crime did not name the school they had in mind.
The special agent in charge of ATF's Nashville Field Office is Jim Cavanaugh. he spoke to the AP and noted that the plan was to shoot 88 black people and behead another 14. According to Cavanaugh, the numbers 88 and 14 were used specifically because they are symbolic numbers in the white supremacist community.
The two also planned on following that up by going on another killing spree around the nation, ending with their final target, Senator Obama. Legal documents revealed they "planned to drive their vehicle as fast as they could toward Obama shooting at him from the windows."
"Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt. Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt."
Cavanaugh also spoke on their intentions.
"They said that would be their last, final act — that they would attempt to kill Senator Obama. They didn't believe they would be able to do it, but that they would get killed trying."
"They seemed determined to do it. Even if they were just to try it, it would be a trail of tears around the south."
Senator Obama's spokesperson had no immediate comment on the matter at the time this story ran.
The names of both men were also revealed. Daniel Cowart, a 20 year old from Bells, Tennessee, and Paul Schlesselman, an 18 year old from Helena-West Helena, Arkansas, are both being held without bond, according to reports. A sawed-off shotgun, a rifle and three pistols were confiscated by authorities.
Sheriff Troy Klyce from Crockett County also spoke on the matter.
"Once we arrested the defendants and suspected they had violated federal law, we immediately contacted federal authorities," he noted.
Currently, the men are charged with conspiring to steal firearms from a federally licensed gun dealer, possession of an unregistered firearm, and threatening the life of a candidate for president. They are scheduled for a bond hearing this Thursday in Memphis.
Although Senator Obama has not spoken on the matter, he was back on the campaign trail this week. Today, he issued what his campaign billed as his "closing statement" as they make a final push toward the November 4 elections.
"We cannot let up for one day, one minute, or one second in this last week. Not now. Don't think for a minute that power concedes. We have a lot of work to do. We have to work like our future depends on it in this last week, because it does depend on it this week."
Two Arrested In Barack Obama Assassination Plot
October 27th, 2008 | Author: Andres Tardio
Law enforcement agents have announced that they have stopped an assassination plot that would have shot and decapitated more than 100 black people and Senator Barack Obama. The plan, set up by two Neo-Nazi Skinheads, was stopped by ATF agents and the report was released today by the US District Court in Jackson, Tennessee.
According to the reports, the plan was to rob a gun store and target a mostly African American high school to go on a killing spree. The two men charged with the crime did not name the school they had in mind.
The special agent in charge of ATF's Nashville Field Office is Jim Cavanaugh. he spoke to the AP and noted that the plan was to shoot 88 black people and behead another 14. According to Cavanaugh, the numbers 88 and 14 were used specifically because they are symbolic numbers in the white supremacist community.
The two also planned on following that up by going on another killing spree around the nation, ending with their final target, Senator Obama. Legal documents revealed they "planned to drive their vehicle as fast as they could toward Obama shooting at him from the windows."
"Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt. Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt."
Cavanaugh also spoke on their intentions.
"They said that would be their last, final act — that they would attempt to kill Senator Obama. They didn't believe they would be able to do it, but that they would get killed trying."
"They seemed determined to do it. Even if they were just to try it, it would be a trail of tears around the south."
Senator Obama's spokesperson had no immediate comment on the matter at the time this story ran.
The names of both men were also revealed. Daniel Cowart, a 20 year old from Bells, Tennessee, and Paul Schlesselman, an 18 year old from Helena-West Helena, Arkansas, are both being held without bond, according to reports. A sawed-off shotgun, a rifle and three pistols were confiscated by authorities.
Sheriff Troy Klyce from Crockett County also spoke on the matter.
"Once we arrested the defendants and suspected they had violated federal law, we immediately contacted federal authorities," he noted.
Currently, the men are charged with conspiring to steal firearms from a federally licensed gun dealer, possession of an unregistered firearm, and threatening the life of a candidate for president. They are scheduled for a bond hearing this Thursday in Memphis.
Although Senator Obama has not spoken on the matter, he was back on the campaign trail this week. Today, he issued what his campaign billed as his "closing statement" as they make a final push toward the November 4 elections.
"We cannot let up for one day, one minute, or one second in this last week. Not now. Don't think for a minute that power concedes. We have a lot of work to do. We have to work like our future depends on it in this last week, because it does depend on it this week."
Monday, September 22, 2008
Future Goals and Plans
So I've been thinking a lot, well not a lot, just more than usual. Which essentially means I had a thought this week. And I need to set some goals for myself. Where do I want to be in my Life by the year 2018. I'll be 32, what kind of things do I want to accomplish, and in what time frame? I figure if I write them down somewhere it will force me to take some action on them because I will be accountable. Or, I could just erase this post and go heat up another hot pocket.
AND NOW I PRESENT: THE DILLON'S TEN YEAR PLAN.
Kinda Seemed Like it needed Fireworks
Goal: Move to London
Time frame - TBA
Explanation: This has been something I've wanted to do for a while now, I figure everyone should live in another country for a while and since I never studied abroad and refuse to learn another language England seems like a good choice. So when do I plan to do this? Originally it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but a certain factor may be speeding up my departure from America.
John McCain and Sarah Palin. If these mofo's win the election, I will be out of here by 2010, I promise you. Just wait til I Get my money right.
Hopefully Obama will win and I can stick around until his second term is over in 2016.
Goal: Start My Own Production Company
Time Frame - 2010-2011
Explanation - I mean putting up little video skits on Youtube and facebook for the 8 people that watch them is all well and good. But at some point I need to step it up. So while half the money I save is going into my escape from the republicans fund the other half is going into everything I need to start my own Company. And if I just continue to make skits or comedy videos then so be, but dammit my videos about doodoo and nunchucks will look professional, Dammit.
Goal: Put a contact lens in my eye
Time Frame - Whenever
Explanation - Hey, don't judge me okay, so I can't put a contact lens in my eye. You act like you're all badass riding motorcycles and fighting bears. Get off my back man I'll do it when I'm ready.
Eeewwwy
Goal: Let's Go to Africa
Time Frame - 2013
Explanation: I need to fight a lion, the zoo won't let me bring boxing gloves into the cage with me so you know, Africa. And I gotta see the homeland. But the lions need to be put in their place first.
You ain't Bad.
Goal:Get Married & Have Kids
Time Frame - 2016
Explanation - I unnno, because I'm supposed to. Hopefully I love the woman, kids too I guess, but I will be forcing at least one of the kids to live out all my unfulfilled fantasies. It's my right as a parent. So if I don't fight the lion, someone will.
Exactly what me and my future family will look like.
Goal: Get Michael Jackson to stop touching boys and make another number 1 album
Time Frame - ?
Explanation - I like MJ, sheesh. I can hope right.
THRILLER, THRILLER NIGHT, AND NO ONES GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THE BEAST ABOUT TO STRIKE
Goal: KERRY WASHINGTON
Time Frame - Now, please.
Explanation: I don't know exactly what, but I need her in my life.
More Goals later sleep now.
AND NOW I PRESENT: THE DILLON'S TEN YEAR PLAN.
Kinda Seemed Like it needed Fireworks
Goal: Move to London
Time frame - TBA
Explanation: This has been something I've wanted to do for a while now, I figure everyone should live in another country for a while and since I never studied abroad and refuse to learn another language England seems like a good choice. So when do I plan to do this? Originally it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but a certain factor may be speeding up my departure from America.
John McCain and Sarah Palin. If these mofo's win the election, I will be out of here by 2010, I promise you. Just wait til I Get my money right.
Hopefully Obama will win and I can stick around until his second term is over in 2016.
Goal: Start My Own Production Company
Time Frame - 2010-2011
Explanation - I mean putting up little video skits on Youtube and facebook for the 8 people that watch them is all well and good. But at some point I need to step it up. So while half the money I save is going into my escape from the republicans fund the other half is going into everything I need to start my own Company. And if I just continue to make skits or comedy videos then so be, but dammit my videos about doodoo and nunchucks will look professional, Dammit.
Goal: Put a contact lens in my eye
Time Frame - Whenever
Explanation - Hey, don't judge me okay, so I can't put a contact lens in my eye. You act like you're all badass riding motorcycles and fighting bears. Get off my back man I'll do it when I'm ready.
Eeewwwy
Goal: Let's Go to Africa
Time Frame - 2013
Explanation: I need to fight a lion, the zoo won't let me bring boxing gloves into the cage with me so you know, Africa. And I gotta see the homeland. But the lions need to be put in their place first.
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You ain't Bad.
Goal:Get Married & Have Kids
Time Frame - 2016
Explanation - I unnno, because I'm supposed to. Hopefully I love the woman, kids too I guess, but I will be forcing at least one of the kids to live out all my unfulfilled fantasies. It's my right as a parent. So if I don't fight the lion, someone will.
Exactly what me and my future family will look like.
Goal: Get Michael Jackson to stop touching boys and make another number 1 album
Time Frame - ?
Explanation - I like MJ, sheesh. I can hope right.
THRILLER, THRILLER NIGHT, AND NO ONES GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THE BEAST ABOUT TO STRIKE
Goal: KERRY WASHINGTON
Time Frame - Now, please.
Explanation: I don't know exactly what, but I need her in my life.
More Goals later sleep now.
Monday, September 8, 2008
I'm back
Wow, I have been slacking, sorry.
Let's see what's happened since my last post:
- This chick got chosen to be a Vice Presidential Candidate
(Photo May Not Be Entirely Accurate)
- The MTV VMA's confirmed for me that I will never be watching MTV again.
- Football Season has begun again and so far Tom Brady has been injured and will be gone for the entire season,
(Yeah Buddy, talkin bout YOU.)
Donovan McNabb has returned to his awesome glory, and Eli Manning is still a sissy. GO FARVE WHOOOOOOO!!!
- I rented the movie "War" starring Jet Li, and Jason Statham(the poor man's Vin Diesel) and it is easily one of the worst movies ever. And not in the good way where a movie is hilarious when it's bad, no, it was horrible. If for some reason you run a concentration camp and would like to torture your prisoners please make them watch "War" i guarantee at least four suicides for every 6 captives you have.
- I visited St Johns, my Alma thingy, during a party to see how the old campus was and I will never do that again. Nothing brings absolute clarity to whether or not you belong in a location more than a Seventeen year old freshman asking you if you want to go back to her dorm room and listen to the Shwayze album.
(I don't know where these dudes came from, but they can go back)
- My apartment has couches. If this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, then you've never been to my apartment.
- My glasses got stolen at the basketball court. Who steals glasses?!
- Entourage is back and once again it makes me hate my life. And I have a good life. Stupid Vinny Chase.
- For some reason nature hates us and has been sending constant hurricanes to make sure we know it.
- and finally I am still in Love with Kerry Washington
(If you see her let her know)
Okay hopefully I won't miss this many days again and stay away from Kerry.
Let's see what's happened since my last post:
- This chick got chosen to be a Vice Presidential Candidate
(Photo May Not Be Entirely Accurate)
- The MTV VMA's confirmed for me that I will never be watching MTV again.
- Football Season has begun again and so far Tom Brady has been injured and will be gone for the entire season,
(Yeah Buddy, talkin bout YOU.)
Donovan McNabb has returned to his awesome glory, and Eli Manning is still a sissy. GO FARVE WHOOOOOOO!!!
- I rented the movie "War" starring Jet Li, and Jason Statham(the poor man's Vin Diesel) and it is easily one of the worst movies ever. And not in the good way where a movie is hilarious when it's bad, no, it was horrible. If for some reason you run a concentration camp and would like to torture your prisoners please make them watch "War" i guarantee at least four suicides for every 6 captives you have.
- I visited St Johns, my Alma thingy, during a party to see how the old campus was and I will never do that again. Nothing brings absolute clarity to whether or not you belong in a location more than a Seventeen year old freshman asking you if you want to go back to her dorm room and listen to the Shwayze album.
(I don't know where these dudes came from, but they can go back)
- My apartment has couches. If this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, then you've never been to my apartment.
- My glasses got stolen at the basketball court. Who steals glasses?!
- Entourage is back and once again it makes me hate my life. And I have a good life. Stupid Vinny Chase.
- For some reason nature hates us and has been sending constant hurricanes to make sure we know it.
- and finally I am still in Love with Kerry Washington
(If you see her let her know)
Okay hopefully I won't miss this many days again and stay away from Kerry.
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