DILLusions of Grandeur

Upcoming Show & karaoke event 2/9 & 2/11

2012-01-04T14:21:00.002-05:00

Doing a show with 3 of the comedians that I've looked up to in my short time performing on

stage. Cerrome Russell, John Minus & Mike Brown. Then 2 days later (got a problem?) we're

having an after party karaoke event. Come spend your weekend enjoying great comedy &

terrible singing.

DeceptiComics

Comedy Show premiers - New York City on Thursday February 9th @ the

Parkside Lounge located at 317 East Houston Street, New York, NY 10002.

Show starts at 7:30pm sharp and admission is $15 at the door, $10 in advance on

http://decepticomicsnyc.eventbrite.com/.

Facebook Event Page For DeceptiComics

Mike Brown - John Minus - Cerrome Russell

_________________________________________________________________________
NYC KARAOKE Tweet-up

Saturday, February 11, 2012, 6-10PM

Duets 48, 304 E. 48th Street, New York, NY

RSVP by 1/31 on the Facebook Event page

$12 (6p-8p) and $20 (8p-close) from everyone UPON ENTRY. This includes a 2hr minimum

+ taxes. Absolutely no exceptions. You will sign in when you come in and put the time,

you'll receive a wristband. When you leave, you'll sign out and pay any difference.

All drinks are half off from 6p-8p

A Calvin & Hobbes tribute...

2011-12-19T12:32:00.000-05:00

#SadHashtagSunday Vol1 12/18/2011 #NoOneLovesMe

2011-12-18T18:47:00.000-05:00

Every Sunday I take it upon myself to search twitter for the most upsetting hashtagged topics and find the loneliest, most ungrateful dramatic people on the internet. I then share what I find with the people.

I don't do it for me, I do it, for YOU.

This weeks search: #NoOneLovesMe

@TheDiLLon1 http://thedillonwon.tumblr.com/

#DillsDayInCourt Part 1 (AS SEEN ON TWITTER)

2011-10-27T19:04:00.000-04:00

The Following is the exact twitter transcript of my day in civil court on 10/27/11 -

The following are true events. Only names, places, dates, times and facts have been changed for legal purposes.

9:00AM - Off to court for a rent dispute. Instead of preparing properly just gonna play Jay-Z's guilty until proven innocent on loop.

9:30 -Worst part about court is not being allowed to tweet cause phones are supposed to be off. Oh. They saw me. Think I'm going to jail now.

10:07 - phone is confiscated. Excuse of "Why have free wi-fi if I can't use it?" does not suffice. Note taking begins. I look smarter.

10:11 - Grown man with ponytail walks into courtroom. I want to make fun of him on twitter. This is not possible at the time.

10:13 - @cushkobain informs me I'm not allowed to "Approach the bench, object, or yell 'THIS WHOLE COURTROOM IS OUT OF ORDER'."

10:15 - I learn judge will be female. I unbutton the top 3 buttons on my shirt.

10:17 - I see said judge. Swiftly rebutton shirt.

10:18 - Bored. Decide to nap.@CushKobain can handle this.

10:19 - I am awoken. Rudely. Decide court looks way more fun on Harvey Birdman.

10:26 - Despite crowded courtroom, I see no 1 I would have sex with. Maybe some cuddling. Maybe.

10:30 - To pass time I ask if any1 has played Arkham City. I learn I'm not supposed to be talking. No word on Arkham City.

10:33 - Guy next to me's phone goes off. I snitch. Immediately. Gotta get on judge's good side.

10:38 - I pass a note around to see if anyone wants to cuddle afterwards.

10:43 - One taker. Whatever happens the day will not be a complete loss.

10:48 - Spot TV hanging in corner of courtroom. Ask if we can put Sportscenter on so I could see the Top 10.

10:52 - I miss the Top 10.

10:57 - Begin to play Tic Tac Toe with @CushKobain. He wins 3 times. Fuck tic tac toe.

11:01 - Wish I had a star witness to call. Maybe Batman...

11:03 - Court clerks' show of authority while enforcing "no food or drinks" begins to turn me on. Doubt she is a good cuddler.

11:07 - There is a spider on the wall. This will undoubtedly keep my attention for the rest of the day.

11:07 - I wonder what's happening on twitter. Bet that rascal Joe Budden is up to something crazy.

11:07 - Attempt 1 to start the wave was unsuccessful. Court sucks.

11:09 - Contemplates how weird it would be if sign over judge actually read "In God We Thrust"

11:15 - Reminds self to ask judge "if anything said in the court of law can be used against me in the court of law" She will laugh.

11:17 - Woman enters court w/ baby. I am jealous. I should've brought a baby. Would have got me sympathy.

11:18 - Baby begins crying. I am no longer jealous.

11:25 - MIDGETS!!!! Nuff said

11:30 We are called. People's Court theme doesn't play. I object.

11:31 - Suddenly wish I had my Lawyer. Or my Mommy. Or my Lawyer's Mommy.

11:32 - Settlement is offered. I want to issue a challenge for a winner takes all cage match.

11:33 - Distracted by the fact my fly has been down all day & undoubtedly miss important information.

11:35 - Judge threatens to hold baby in contempt. I applaud.

11:40-1:00PM Boring Lawyery courty deliberatey stuff.

2:00PM - Get home eat sammich. The End. Dill's Day in Court Part 2 coming in December. Oh yeah they gave me my phone back too.

END TRANSCRIPT.

Dill Drawings: Series 2

2011-07-03T20:50:00.000-04:00

Mer-Maid

Cyclops Blind Date

Superman that Hoe

Mario's Breakfast

Anger Management

Col. Guile's Haircut (people hated this one)

"Iron" Man

The Episode You Missed

Dog Sled

Racist Tetris: The TRUE GREAT WALL

Jimmy Crow

The Battle Begins

Upcoming Shows

2011-05-27T13:35:00.002-04:00

G.R.I.T.S. Sunday Dinnahs - 6/12/11

6/12/11 Sunday, June 12th
8pm
Choice Kitchen and Cocktails--Private Room
(3rd Avenue btw 27th and 28th Street)

Hosted by: Brandon Collins

Satisfying your comedy appetite with performances by:
Justin Brown
Boris Zilberman
Dillon Stevenson
Lori Chandler
Dan DelColle
Rob Santos
Dan Barry
Joshua Sankey
Charlie Kasov

NO COVER. NO DRINK MINIMUM
Drink Specials all night!!! $4 beers, $5 wines, $6 cosmos

All the Dill Drawings Explained.

2011-05-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

So a few weeks ago I was bored at work. I purchased some colored pencils. I started drawing. These are the results & explanations.

Stegosaurus in a Hot air Balloon: Nothing special Here. It is what it is.

The Museum Trip: That's supposed to be a Barney The Dinosaur skeleton.

Scuba Lunch: Peanut Butter & Jellyfish...

Rock Em Sock Em Robots Playing BattleShip

Dilex Watch: It's ____ Time

Tim Duncan's Donuts

Fortune Cookie Monster

Every Birth in 1993*: Doctor delivers baby singing Whoomp There it is.

The Awkward Moment When Eskimos Spot Seal

Rah Rah Like a Dungeon Dragon: Tribe Called Quest, scenario, dragon has nothing to say

Pooh Bear vs Yogi

Ms. Pacman Slept with Sonic & that's the baby

High Heels

What Came First

Home Improvement: The Other Side of the fence

GirlyousoExtra on twitter wanted a personal drawing

Gilligan & the skipper playing volleyall w/ castaway's Wilson

Hungry Hungry Hippos Decide what to eat

The potato heads have sex

Rudolph & the booty Destiny's Child members console Pluto

Dr. Doctor Doom.

A. C. Slater = Air Conditioning

Jolly Ranchers

Curious George Killed the Cat

My G.R.I.T.S. crew did a radio show without me

2011-05-04T14:47:00.000-04:00

Video streaming by Ustream

The Dillon gets an order of Steen Cookies...

2011-05-03T17:53:00.000-04:00

Christine Fox makes cookies that everyone raves about. I decided to have some. This is my reaction.

Get Cookies at steenscookies.tumblr.com
or @steenfox on twitter

The Joe Jackson Experience

2011-04-28T13:28:00.001-04:00

G.R.I.T.S. Comedy's 1st video sketch

Enjoy that.

Subscribe to GRITS Comedy on Youtube

Follow GRITS on Twitter

Dill Drawings

2011-04-23T15:37:00.001-04:00

I work long tedious overnight work shifts. This gives me free time. I've recently purchased colored pencils to remedy this issue. The result is a series of "Dill Drawings".

I've decided to begin handing them out at sketch & stand-up comedy shows of mine.

You're welcome. Earth.

Upcoming Shows....

2011-04-13T17:37:00.005-04:00

The 2nd G.R.I.T.S. Sketch comedy showcase.

Featuring some sketches I wrote, directed & starred in.

Saturday April 23rd, 8:30pm at the Shelter Studios (Bridge Theatre)
RSVP for $10 Tickets at: Gritscomedy@gmail.com
At the door it's $15... So get your advance tickets

Non Pro Comedy Show.
Sunday April 24th 6pm at Port 41 355 West 41st St
Admission $10
Facebook Event For The Non Pro Comedy Show

The Dillon Discusses... His special Lady friend

2011-04-13T17:26:00.000-04:00

From the Performance at the Gotham Comedy Club on 3/22/11

Coming soon to the world of NY Sketch Comedy...

2010-12-13T15:25:00.000-05:00

The Dillon Discusses... Today's Terrible Music Standards

2010-12-13T15:15:00.000-05:00

More shows & New Sketch Comedy Group "G.R.I.T.S." coming in December. More details as soon as I got something to say.

History Of Hip-Hop

2010-09-30T18:00:00.000-04:00

How Would You Like A Dope Comprehensive History Of Hip Hop Music From Categorized yearly from 1979-2009? You WOULD????

Boosh ------>>> The Rub: History Of Hip-Hop

You Can Download them All, or pick and choose. Even tho a few of the latter mixes evidently show the decline in mainstream hip-hop, I recommend you still cop. Don't say I never did nothing for ya.

No Words for this...

2010-09-30T17:31:00.000-04:00

Every Little Step with Mike Tyson & Wayne Brady from Mike Tyson

Upcoming Shows 9/28

2010-09-27T10:27:00.000-04:00

Comix NYC 353 West 14th Street, NY, NY

9:30 PM

$10 Cover 2 Drink Minimum with
RSVP to (212) 524-2500.

$15 Cover with 2 Drink Min At the door.

The Dillon Discusses Racist Sex

2010-09-18T21:44:00.000-04:00

From Last Night's Show At Eastville Comedy Club...

The Dillon Discusses: Being an Intelligent Black man

2010-09-13T18:16:00.000-04:00

Upcoming Show Friday, September 17th @ 7pm ...EastVille Comedy Club
(8 E. 4th Street)
$5 Cover with two drink minimum if you RSVP at: Sophistifunkevents@gmail.com by Thursday, September 16th!

$10 Cover at the door!!!

More Info

Uh oh, looks who's doing some extra work...

2010-09-13T17:41:00.000-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Did you see me? I was playing the extra. The black one. No, you don't have to watch again, it's not that important.

Upcoming Stand-up Shows

2010-09-08T20:11:00.001-04:00

Friday, September 17th @ 7pm ...EastVille Comedy Club
(8 E. 4th Street)
$5 Cover with two drink minimum if you RSVP at: Sophistifunkevents@gmail.com by Thursday, September 16th!

$10 Cover at the door!!!

Hosted by: Brendan Fitzgibbons

Performances By:
Dillon Stevenson
Jori Howard
Dan DelColle
John Moses
Brandon Collins
Kyle Salone
Julie Notwicz
Tom Luberto
Dan Soder

http://www.eastvillecomedy.com/

Thursday September 28th @ Comix NYC w14th street. More Details as show approaches.

http://www.comixny.com/

Signature Pose

2010-07-19T18:22:00.000-04:00

Was recently going through some of the latest pictures that I've been tagged in on Facebook and I realized I have an addiction to a certain pose. Here is one night in which I did that pose in EVERY SINGLE PHOTO I was in. I call it the "Dillranosaurus Rex". If you know of any support groups, please, contact me.

This Sh!t just changed my life...

2010-07-19T18:02:00.000-04:00

Making Love in the Water (aka "Gettin My F*ck On In The Water" via twitter's DragonFlyJonez)

Warning: Do not watch if you don't want your life to be forever changed.

I have returned to the internets.

2010-07-12T12:54:00.001-04:00

I promise never to leave again. Until I get bored with posting.

The Dillon On... Heat Waves

2010-07-12T12:51:00.001-04:00

The Dillon on... Dating Pretty Girls

2010-07-12T12:21:00.001-04:00

So you say your Roommate caught you trying to murder him in his sleep

2009-11-16T10:55:00.000-05:00

It's the morning after, things are awkward, you may or may not have been hovering above your roommate's bed with a steak knife. You were?
Ok, we can work around that. We don't care why you did it, or if he deserved it, all that matters now is you didn't succeed and now we gotta deal with it. So what do you do?

- Deny. Don't panic, it was dark he was groggy. There's no way he could be sure it was you, or that it even happened for that matter. Tell him he was dreaming. And laugh with him about that part where you "proclaimed", "this is for all the times you never asked if I wanted anything before you ordered Dominoes!" If he asks how you'd know about that if it was really a dream, distract him with a Victorias Secret catalouge.

- Act Normal. So what if he suspects something? What's he going to do? Call the cops?
Yes. Yes he could easily call the cops. But why would he call the cops on his awesome roommate. Just do all the stuff you usually do. Like his laundry and dishes. Buy him tickets to see his favorite band, maybe a hooker. You know all the stuff you would do anyway regardless of the fact that he caught you trying to smother him as he rested. Again.

- Talk it Out. Sigh, so it seems he's upset about your attempted murder, well your upset too. So lay it all out on the table, not the table you were going to use to chop his body up, we may need that later. But listen about his concerns for his life and let him know why you want his severed head in a jar. About how his grooming habits sicken you, how he NEVER tells you when he knocks your toothbrush in the toilet and how he SUCKS at pictionary and... on second thought talking about it seems to be making you angrier. Let's skip that.

- Beg for Mercy. You don't want to go to jail, you don't want to lay awake at night worrying about retalliation and you don't want to ever own a Fergie-Era Black Eyed Peas album. Trust me.

So ask for forgiveness. People make mistakes and admit you did.

- Finish the Job. The only mistake you made was wearing your Godzilla slippers that make the Godzilla roar. Do it. While he still trusts you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

BLACK

2009-11-04T14:17:00.001-05:00

Black

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Spoofs | Funny Animations

Links to My original skits

2009-11-01T22:59:00.002-05:00

http://thedillon.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Dillon%20Originals

and this pic for the hell of it

Christopher Walken > Lady Gaga

2009-11-01T22:52:00.000-05:00

hahahahahahahaha

2009-10-16T05:57:00.001-04:00

Home Studio + Free Time = Ridiculous Ass Songs coming soon

2009-10-15T12:45:00.001-04:00

Return of Naz Vs Mike

2009-10-15T00:14:00.000-04:00

Naz pissed me off, so here you go...

Hey Remember When I used to Post on here?

2009-10-13T16:33:00.001-04:00

Me either.

Ok, I get back to it later. First. Nachoes.

Trailer: RoboFuego 1.0

2009-06-18T22:56:00.000-04:00

Digger Freestyle Session Pt1

2009-05-27T17:37:00.001-04:00

Archive footage from 2/3/09.

The Dillon, Coolist, Murda Mike and Wasi freestyle for about 2 hours nonstop. This is a portion of what Went down that day.

Go to the sites,

2009-05-27T17:10:00.003-04:00

Cause these people are either smarter, cooler, more insightful, more talented, or more environmentally conscious than I am. But not funnier.

- For the ill sports/life analysis my boy Mike Benjamin http://pointsoffturnovers.blogspot.com/

- Chronicling her trip to Africa is Court Hurt http://cbh-ubuntu.blogspot.com/

- The roomy marcus, (maybe if people visit he'll update more) http://wasiradio.blogspot.com/

- otha roomy Art Officiando his own originals and other stuff you should check for http://cooldotdilworth.blogspot.com/

- Childhood pal Grambo's crews' blog http://not-of-it.blogspot.com/

- The 1 musical celebrity I legitimately know Mr. Jpatt's record label. Bottom line, they make ill music http://heavyrocmusic.blogspot.com/

- Dani D's plans for a cleaner world http://danib.tumblr.com/

- Hip-Hop Blog the homey Brandon contributes to http://itstheofficial.wordpress.com/

- Sudz & Carla's flygirl worldview http://deepinthecabbagepatch.wordpress.com/

Unreleased Sketch Phone Call

2009-05-27T15:51:00.004-04:00

Because it's taking me soooo long to finish this Robo Fuego 1.0 project I'm working on I figured I'd drop something I did that I never put up.

Frankly I think it's not really funny and therefore I neglected to post it. It was a good concept that never translated during production. So here goes Phone Call.

BOUNTY hunter (explicit)

2009-04-11T18:01:00.002-04:00

It's a dangerous job, so stay the F$*& outta my way.

(WARNING Explicit Language and EXTREME violence)

http://thedillon.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/thedillon1

Other "The Dillon Originals"

Trailer for "Bounty Hunter"

2009-04-07T19:50:00.000-04:00

Back To Business Pt3

2009-04-04T14:47:00.001-04:00

After Today the wait is over

The Dillon Originals

Back to Business Pt2

2009-04-03T15:02:00.003-04:00

New comedy coming soon stay tuned

Damn Cocoa Fuego keeps the gifts coming.

Previous The Dillon aka Cocoa Fuego originals

Back To Business Pt1

2009-04-02T15:34:00.005-04:00

It's been a long time, I shouldn'ta left you, without a dope joke to laugh to

and all the older "The Dillon Originals" are linked here.

Disrespectfully Awesome

2009-03-31T20:04:00.000-04:00

Ong Bak 2

When Is okay to kick someone in the face?

2009-03-29T18:34:00.001-04:00

The correct answer is anywhere after the :51 second mark.

Thanks to Sam-she-am for the link.

I just realized what makes me happy

2009-03-26T18:05:00.000-04:00

This

What makes you happy?

2009-03-26T14:44:00.004-04:00

and how do you make sure you never lose it?

If anybody has an answer for me, I got a cookie with their name on it.

Lt. Dan may not have 5 toes, But I Know 5 things.

2009-03-26T12:13:00.003-04:00

1. I had a TV show in high school. A CABLE tv show. Bam in your face.
2. I may or may not own a Ninja Gi, My ninja-ness won't actually allow me to tell you.
3. I'll let my feet freeze before I would ever sleep in socks.
4. My first word was Taxi, being an infant in NYC will do that to you.
5. Used to have one of those little plastic cozy coupes toy cars as a kid, and I could still fit in one I would ride around NYC in it now. I promise.

Now Gimme 5 about you.

Artpad is cool

2009-03-25T18:39:00.004-04:00

On the side of the page I have a section called soul drawings, where I put up a few sketches I did using This Artpad page . It's pretty cool. Check it out and let me see what drawings you made.

The video of your painting looks cooler in fast forward btw.

Upcoming Shows I will be attending

2009-03-25T18:17:00.002-04:00

The Roots Present the Jam
on 4/1, 4/6, 4/21.

Every night Is a different brand new Experience.
check Highline Ballroom for information.

Afro-Punk & Bronx Underground Present:SMASH
Tuesday, March 31st 2009
@ The Studio
Webster Hall
125 E. 11th Street (between 3rd & 4th Ave.)

Hitting up the 9:30 Show Webster Hall Info

Blackstar (Mos Def & Talib Kweli)
May 30th

You don't want to be missing these shows, hit me up in the comments (or call if you got it) if you wanna roll.

I Don't Know A Lot about Me, But I know 5 things.

2009-03-25T14:21:00.003-04:00

1. I've Never Smoked, cigarettes or anything else
2. Some days I forget to brush my teeth, those are usually the days I forget to go outside
3. Love going to see live music
4. Often just sit and watch the moon when I can.
5. I always laugh at the word duty. Always.

So gimme 5 about you.

Back to Blogging

2009-03-25T14:18:00.001-04:00

So yeah went on a ridiculously long break, get over it, I got stuff to do.

HOTTEST SONG EVER

2009-02-08T02:47:00.001-05:00

This is A Poem I wrote

2009-01-20T23:07:00.003-05:00

Dear President Barack the day is new and bright,
I just finished my taco, and there is no toilet in sight
you preach on hope and responsibility
mean while my insides are killing me
No one holds as much control over destiny as you do
DEAR GOD DO I HAVE TO TAKE A MONSTROUS DOO DOO!!!

I call it The President and The Poo.

I am an artist.

Apparently the one day I'm not at work

2009-01-15T16:51:00.001-05:00

A plane crashes. Everyone survived so that's awesome. Here's a funny video.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

thedillon.blogspot.com

How bout some random Thoughts?

2009-01-12T22:54:00.003-05:00

So since we're getting a Notorious biopic, how long until we get a movie based on the real greatest rapper alive Skee-lo. I say we call it, A Little Bit Taller. A Little Bit Taller Coming Summer '09 Starring Larenz Tate

Tom Cruise has an eye patch. I want an eye patch. And an Evil Goatee.

Do Not Watch this.

You watched it didn't you. I told you not to, that was pretty disgusting. You just don't listen.

This picture makes me happy

But not as happy as this

GO Eagles.

Sixwordstories.net

2009-01-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

I am so addicted to this.

The New Most Hilarious thing this year

2009-01-04T00:09:00.003-05:00

Okay we have a new winner. A flow chart.

You might want to save an enlarge it, and if you recognize what it is its worth it.

thedillon.blogspot.com

Easily the Most hilarious thing I have seen All year.

2009-01-02T09:53:00.006-05:00

I mean sure the year is only 2 days old, but still....

(and in unrelated news Evil Sandwhich is coming)

This has inspired me....

2008-12-29T15:10:00.001-05:00

I need to find a music producer who will help me make songs like this. I spit hot fiya.

The Grinch Returns

2008-12-24T17:11:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays

My present to you.

TRAILER FOR "THE GRINCH RETURNS" RELEASED ON 12/23/08

2008-12-17T19:15:00.000-05:00

Check either:

http://thedillon.blogspot.com/

youtube.com/thedillon1

myspace.com/thedillon1

Afropunk MTV piece

2008-12-17T17:54:00.001-05:00

AND I'M IN IT!!!! Check round the 1:39 mark.

Dilly Lovemoney's Holiday Gift Guide

2008-12-15T09:49:00.003-05:00

International Playboy Musician Dilly Lovemoney (aka D-Heart-dollar-sign)has compiled a list of gifts sure to please your lady (or all of them) this holiday season.

Strange Days

2008-12-07T21:08:00.001-05:00

Been feelin' really uninspired lately, I need something to change. I dunno if my brand new day project is working.

Don't seem like myself....

Brand New Day: Day 1

2008-11-25T03:57:00.006-05:00

Tonight during my cab ride home I was thinking on all the things I had been doing to try and make a change in my life, and a thought snapped into my head. "What if I just do 1 New thing every day"

And in that simple moment birthed "Brand New Day." Every day I will attempt to make sure I do something I have never done before. It doesn't have to be some big grandiose gesture in fact I think in the beginning at least, small things are better. So to kick of My BND project I have done something I've wanted to do for a few weeks now, I've recorded myself performing some of my Poetry, big step for me, And the first step in a brand new day.

HOLY CRAP!

2008-11-03T14:35:00.006-05:00

Best Part of the Interview: Rasheed Wallace yelling in the background.

HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP!

I knew history would be made this week, We needed change and finally we will get it. Obama, McCain? Who cares.

ALLEN IVERSON IS A DETROIT PISTON

There is a God, and he loves me. Finally my favorite NBA player and favorite team are 1 entity. AI is coming to Detroit. Sure we lose Chauncey Billups and McDyess but since I love Denver too I can't be mad. They needed a pure point guard and they got one, maybe he can help Melo out of the first round. But back to the point.

ALLEN IVERSON IS A DETROIT PISTON

Finally after years of me trading him to the Pistons in my 2K season modes, Joe Dumars had listened to my advice. Iverson and Rasheed Wallace together? The Pistons will truly return to their bad boy days. The Pistons have a legitimate superstar who can score at will and has shown he can now play in a team setting. Offenses could barly keep up with RIP Hamilton, now they have to worry about the Answer speeding through the Motor City as well.

And even if it doesn't turn out since Iverson and Rasheed's contracts will expire at the end of the season this leaves the Pistons with money for the plethora of viable free agents in 2009 and 2010, if they don't resign. Joe Dumars is a genius, but it was my idea first.

I'm going to go pee my pants in excitment now.
And Remember if y'all mess up. Rasheed Wallace will eat you alive.

HAPPY HALLO-WEEZY

2008-10-31T23:59:00.002-04:00

Wow, so sad...

2008-10-27T22:12:00.002-04:00

Taken from Hiphopdx.com

Two Arrested In Barack Obama Assassination Plot
October 27th, 2008 | Author: Andres Tardio

Law enforcement agents have announced that they have stopped an assassination plot that would have shot and decapitated more than 100 black people and Senator Barack Obama. The plan, set up by two Neo-Nazi Skinheads, was stopped by ATF agents and the report was released today by the US District Court in Jackson, Tennessee.

According to the reports, the plan was to rob a gun store and target a mostly African American high school to go on a killing spree. The two men charged with the crime did not name the school they had in mind.

The special agent in charge of ATF's Nashville Field Office is Jim Cavanaugh. he spoke to the AP and noted that the plan was to shoot 88 black people and behead another 14. According to Cavanaugh, the numbers 88 and 14 were used specifically because they are symbolic numbers in the white supremacist community.

The two also planned on following that up by going on another killing spree around the nation, ending with their final target, Senator Obama. Legal documents revealed they "planned to drive their vehicle as fast as they could toward Obama shooting at him from the windows."

"Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt. Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt."

Cavanaugh also spoke on their intentions.

"They said that would be their last, final act — that they would attempt to kill Senator Obama. They didn't believe they would be able to do it, but that they would get killed trying."

"They seemed determined to do it. Even if they were just to try it, it would be a trail of tears around the south."

Senator Obama's spokesperson had no immediate comment on the matter at the time this story ran.

The names of both men were also revealed. Daniel Cowart, a 20 year old from Bells, Tennessee, and Paul Schlesselman, an 18 year old from Helena-West Helena, Arkansas, are both being held without bond, according to reports. A sawed-off shotgun, a rifle and three pistols were confiscated by authorities.

Sheriff Troy Klyce from Crockett County also spoke on the matter.

"Once we arrested the defendants and suspected they had violated federal law, we immediately contacted federal authorities," he noted.

Currently, the men are charged with conspiring to steal firearms from a federally licensed gun dealer, possession of an unregistered firearm, and threatening the life of a candidate for president. They are scheduled for a bond hearing this Thursday in Memphis.

Although Senator Obama has not spoken on the matter, he was back on the campaign trail this week. Today, he issued what his campaign billed as his "closing statement" as they make a final push toward the November 4 elections.

"We cannot let up for one day, one minute, or one second in this last week. Not now. Don't think for a minute that power concedes. We have a lot of work to do. We have to work like our future depends on it in this last week, because it does depend on it this week."

The Dillon Presents....

2008-10-25T00:05:00.001-04:00

To my Parents:

2008-10-18T21:48:00.000-04:00

Sincerely,
The Dillon

(thanks to the sister for helping)

HEY

2008-10-18T10:57:00.002-04:00

Did you know you can become a follower of this blog? OOooooh shiny.

All you have to do is click on the section in the right column labelled "Apparently people visit here" and you can be listed there too. Wooho! Currently there is only one person, who happens to be me, so depressing

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2008-10-17T01:58:00.004-04:00

There are no words for this other than...

THE DILLON'S HIP HOP FIASCO Pt2

2008-10-13T22:31:00.003-04:00

If you missed part 1 you missed, Game Rebellion, Janelle Monae, ROCK The Bells, Blu & Exile, WALE, AOK, and more all in a month's span.

And part two is scheduled to begin next week. Talib Kweli, David Banner, Little Brother, Amanda Diva, Charles Hamilton, Wale, Rhymefest, Mickey Factz, Blu, Pacific Division, AOK.

I plan to be at shows Tues, Wed, Thurs and Sat next week. Whose coming with me?!

http://www.sobs.com/
http://nokiatheatrenyc.com/eventdetail.php?id=20163

and if someone would like to donate tickets to The Roots Gym Class Heroes and Estelle on the 28th, feel free.

Coming Soon... THE GREATEST BATTLE IN THE UNIVERSE

2008-10-09T02:24:00.003-04:00

I'll have the battle and results in the coming days, but you can leave comments on who you think is the stronger team.

Constructing My Perfect Woman

2008-10-05T20:40:00.009-04:00

I was thinking a few days ago that perhaps my issues with women may stem from the fact that I've never sat down and figured out what I actually want in a woman. (Besides Kerry)

(Heavenly Chorus Plays)

Okay lets get back to the partial fantasy instead of the total one. In all these years I have just gone with the logic of "oh she's talking to me, I should marry her." And while I've been lucky a few times but for the most part my dating endeavors have been less than favorable. Figured I might want to try someone with similar interests for once. So after thinking long and hard,nohomo, I have compiled a list of qualities and traits that I would be present in my perfect girl.

1. I need me a HIP-HOP chick. Now I listen to music CONSTANTLY and in the past, I've settled for a girl with good tastes in music. And that was cool, cause it usually meant I didn't have to listen to "hollabackgirl" more than once a year. But if there's one thing I love it's a Lady who loves her Hip-Hop. I want a Girl who I can have an intelligent argument with about why Jean Grae is/isn't better than Blackthought, someone who knows the difference between 9th Wonder and J Dilla, someone who can put me up onto some illness I haven't heard before. I want to be able to take my girl to a concert and have her know more than the one song she's heard on the radio and be rockin' out right with me.
Good Example: Amanda Diva or Lauryn Hill

Bad Example: Da Brat or Lil Mamma

TESTS: Name all members of the Wu-tang clan without wikipedia or know any verse of any song off Mos Def's Black on Both Sides

2. Hmm let's go for someone athletic too. Imma dude so I like me some sports(not baseball, baseball is lame) so I imagined it would be nice to be with someone who also enjoyed them. It would be cool to go to the basketball court with my girl and actually feel good about crossing her up because she knew better than to reach. Or watch a game with her without her deciding to route for a certain team because their colors are nice or their QB is cute. And who knows, maybe she'll cross me...(I KNOW. AND SHE WON'T) I hate baseball.
Good Ex: Candace Parker/Serena Williams

Bad Ex: Chyna/Sporty Spice

TEST: Hit a 3 pointer while still looking cute. (I can barely do either half of that)

3. N*E*R*D (minus the "*") Basically, I want to be able to watch Star Wars movie without some chick moaning about it or making me turn it off. Hey if she enjoys it, I may go out and buy an engagement ring before the Ewoks show up. Knowledge of comics books is a plus too. I've actually said to myself is any girl that greets me the way MJ greets Peter Parker in their 1st meeting will always have my heart.
Good Ex: Tina Fey/Velma

Bad Ex: The Napoleon Dynamite Chick/Myrtle Urkel

TEST: Greet Me at my door with MJ's famous line.

4. Um, I'm gonna need a chick who can tolerate a broke dude. Yes I do have a full time job, but I also have an apartment and bills, so If you catch me at the wrong part of the month it's not pretty. I have no problem spending money on a girl I like, but if you're gonna be all mad that I couldn't afford to buy the SpagettiO's with the hot dogs for our gourmet dinner tonight well then I think this is where we part. Here just for the hell of it here's the Miss Independent remix.

Good Ex: Upgrade You Beyonce

Bad Ex: Pay My Bills Beyonce

5. A Smart Lady. I'm stupid, I need someone to teach me thingstuff. Someone to teach me to cook, another language, school me on some economics, tell me why I shouldn't eat a bottle of Flinstone vitamins a day, or just whup me in scrabble. Bring it on.
Good Ex:Couldn't think of anyone at the time so here goes Rosario Dawson

Bad Ex: Gretchen

6. Someone to put up with me. I am by no means perfect. I'm immature and joke around too much, slightly insane, I work too much, I'm only marginally good looking, there's the aforementioned brokeness, and occasionally I'm a jerk. So if all that is appealing to you... You need a doctor.
TEST: Put Up with Me

7. Someone with their own funky style or demeanor. Normal People are boring, and who wants that. Got some strange quirks? Cool. You like to wear a bagpipe with you where ever you go? Awesome. Got your elbow pierced? That's a little much for me. But until that thumbs up.
Good Ex: Jack Davey/Janelle Monae

Bad Ex: This scares me.

TEST: Be like them, but original. You know?

As far as appearance goes, I'm not too picky. I have no defense for a nice smile, and I'm partial to black girls, they've had the home court advantage thus far. Prefer the T, in T&A, but hey, they're both pretty cool.

As long as we're fantasizing: I think I'd like to go for a tall chick cause usually I deal with shorties, and I would love a chick with locks in her hair or something.
And maybe a dragon. (too much fantasy?)

So there we go, there's my loose outline of what my perfect girl would be like. And now I will go be depressed because she does not exist and I will never find her, nor will I look because... weren't you paying attention? SHE'S NOT REAL. Now lets go out there and be miserable team.

HIGH FIVE!

Explosion

2008-10-05T14:56:00.003-04:00

That could have been real. Be careful. Stuff explodes sometimes.

Janelle Monae IS COOL.

2008-09-27T11:58:00.001-04:00

and so is her music video for Many Moons.

Love Dat Girl.

The Dillon Speaks 9/23/08

2008-09-24T00:45:00.002-04:00

The Dillon discusses life, leg hair, swag, Ciara, and Dilly Lovemoney makes a guest appearance.

So it's kind of hard to have a positive outlook on the day...

2008-09-24T00:04:00.002-04:00

...when the first thing you do after stepping outside the front door is vomit in your own mouth.

Fruit Loops, milk, orange juice, toast, butter, Colgate, Listerine, and stomach acid.

All combined in my mouth at once. Running late so I couldn't go back inside to brush my teeth again, so I had to ride the train with that taste in my mouth for an hour.

It was a great experience, just thought I should share.

Future Goals and Plans

2008-09-22T23:04:00.004-04:00

So I've been thinking a lot, well not a lot, just more than usual. Which essentially means I had a thought this week. And I need to set some goals for myself. Where do I want to be in my Life by the year 2018. I'll be 32, what kind of things do I want to accomplish, and in what time frame? I figure if I write them down somewhere it will force me to take some action on them because I will be accountable. Or, I could just erase this post and go heat up another hot pocket.

AND NOW I PRESENT: THE DILLON'S TEN YEAR PLAN.

Kinda Seemed Like it needed Fireworks

Goal: Move to London

Time frame - TBA
Explanation: This has been something I've wanted to do for a while now, I figure everyone should live in another country for a while and since I never studied abroad and refuse to learn another language England seems like a good choice. So when do I plan to do this? Originally it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but a certain factor may be speeding up my departure from America.

John McCain and Sarah Palin. If these mofo's win the election, I will be out of here by 2010, I promise you. Just wait til I Get my money right.
Hopefully Obama will win and I can stick around until his second term is over in 2016.

Goal: Start My Own Production Company
Time Frame - 2010-2011
Explanation - I mean putting up little video skits on Youtube and facebook for the 8 people that watch them is all well and good. But at some point I need to step it up. So while half the money I save is going into my escape from the republicans fund the other half is going into everything I need to start my own Company. And if I just continue to make skits or comedy videos then so be, but dammit my videos about doodoo and nunchucks will look professional, Dammit.

Goal: Put a contact lens in my eye
Time Frame - Whenever
Explanation - Hey, don't judge me okay, so I can't put a contact lens in my eye. You act like you're all badass riding motorcycles and fighting bears. Get off my back man I'll do it when I'm ready.

Eeewwwy

Goal: Let's Go to Africa
Time Frame - 2013
Explanation: I need to fight a lion, the zoo won't let me bring boxing gloves into the cage with me so you know, Africa. And I gotta see the homeland. But the lions need to be put in their place first.

You ain't Bad.

Goal:Get Married & Have Kids
Time Frame - 2016
Explanation - I unnno, because I'm supposed to. Hopefully I love the woman, kids too I guess, but I will be forcing at least one of the kids to live out all my unfulfilled fantasies. It's my right as a parent. So if I don't fight the lion, someone will.

Exactly what me and my future family will look like.

Goal: Get Michael Jackson to stop touching boys and make another number 1 album
Time Frame - ?
Explanation - I like MJ, sheesh. I can hope right.

THRILLER, THRILLER NIGHT, AND NO ONES GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THE BEAST ABOUT TO STRIKE

Goal: KERRY WASHINGTON

Time Frame - Now, please.
Explanation: I don't know exactly what, but I need her in my life.

More Goals later sleep now.

Just When I was starting to Get Depressed with life...

2008-09-22T23:02:00.002-04:00

I see this...

I think everything will be alright.

Something Very Intelligent

2008-09-08T20:54:00.003-04:00

So a friend of mine sent me this

I'm sorry you had to watch that. In order to make it up to you I will pass on a mixtape that my compadre Brandon helped put together by an Artist by the name of Rashid Amir and I likes. So check it out, my personal faves: In the Mood and Find A Way.

http://www.zshare.net/download/1768258332e97a1f/

or I can bring you more nonsense. Your choice.

I'm back

2008-09-08T20:02:00.003-04:00

Wow, I have been slacking, sorry.

Let's see what's happened since my last post:

- This chick got chosen to be a Vice Presidential Candidate

(Photo May Not Be Entirely Accurate)

- The MTV VMA's confirmed for me that I will never be watching MTV again.

- Football Season has begun again and so far Tom Brady has been injured and will be gone for the entire season,

(Yeah Buddy, talkin bout YOU.)
Donovan McNabb has returned to his awesome glory, and Eli Manning is still a sissy. GO FARVE WHOOOOOOO!!!

- I rented the movie "War" starring Jet Li, and Jason Statham(the poor man's Vin Diesel) and it is easily one of the worst movies ever. And not in the good way where a movie is hilarious when it's bad, no, it was horrible. If for some reason you run a concentration camp and would like to torture your prisoners please make them watch "War" i guarantee at least four suicides for every 6 captives you have.

- I visited St Johns, my Alma thingy, during a party to see how the old campus was and I will never do that again. Nothing brings absolute clarity to whether or not you belong in a location more than a Seventeen year old freshman asking you if you want to go back to her dorm room and listen to the Shwayze album.

(I don't know where these dudes came from, but they can go back)

- My apartment has couches. If this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, then you've never been to my apartment.

- My glasses got stolen at the basketball court. Who steals glasses?!

- Entourage is back and once again it makes me hate my life. And I have a good life. Stupid Vinny Chase.

- For some reason nature hates us and has been sending constant hurricanes to make sure we know it.

- and finally I am still in Love with Kerry Washington

(If you see her let her know)

Okay hopefully I won't miss this many days again and stay away from Kerry.

Exclusive

2008-08-28T18:12:00.002-04:00

A very Rough draft.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/17805850b192fca2/

(I finally get to say this and mean it)
AY-YO look out for that mixtape droppin real soon. Or not.

The Diggers. One The Way Home From Jones Beach....

Obama Picks his new running mate...

2008-08-25T18:26:00.002-04:00

JOE

BUDDEN

I like this choice. Jersey Stand Up.

Greatest Website Ever

2008-08-25T16:49:00.001-04:00

Or close to it,

http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

Q-Tip is Cool

2008-08-16T16:11:00.005-04:00

El-Oh-el as they say in Spanish (means the oh the).

Oh yeah watch my video
"Obey Your Thirst".

BONUS:

Obey your Thirst (A The Dillon Original)

2008-08-15T00:05:00.002-04:00

Don't judge me.

Throwback word of the Day: Da Bomb Diggity

2008-08-14T06:42:00.001-04:00

As inspired by the post below.

Urban dictionary says: used to the describe the best of the best, most crazy awesome, exceeds expectations of what would be considered "DA Bomb." You can only call a small amount of people this before it loses its meaning.

So please use this word in your vocabulary today.

Solange Knowles is cool.

2008-08-14T06:34:00.003-04:00

Not only do I like her new single "I decided" better than anything her sister has put out but this video has given me another reason to say Solange is da bomb diggity (throwback word of the day).

Some dude Rolls up on her Performance half way through and she's so chill about it.

I would let him stay for like a second then my security team would have drop kicked him in the neck.

Are you ready?????????

2008-08-13T00:56:00.004-04:00

For Dill tha M.C.?!?!?!?!?!

Well you better be, cause the mixtape is dropping soon. (I've always wanted to say that.)

And as much as I may regret it I am taking suggestions for rap names in the comments section....

How to know you've been on the internet for way too long...

2008-08-12T01:27:00.001-04:00

You do a google search for the word google.

Goodnight everyone.

Tropic Thunder Guerilla Marketing

2008-08-10T12:35:00.004-04:00

Alpa Chino- "Booty Sweat And Tears"

Check out rapper Alpa Chino's myspace page, where he advertises his energy drink, Booty Sweat, and energy bar, Bust-a-Nut.

I can't wait for this movie.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=388051140

U-S-A! U-S-A!

2008-08-10T10:48:00.006-04:00

Besides soccer, the only sport I'm really paying attention to is Olympic Basketball. They beat China in their 1st game 101-70 and
Team USA is trying to gain back the respect of the basketball world for America after losing in the last Olympics. With a Roster containing Melo, JKid, Mighty Dwighty(made that up myself), CP3, DWade and other of the NBA's mega stars can they get the gold? Here's other things I will be paying attention to as the games go on

- American pride forcing me to root for both Kobe and Lebron, even though every fiber in my body despises them. go usa.
- Finally getting to hear the NBA on NBC Music
again. If you're a real fan you know exactly what music I mean.
- Seeing referees even worse than NBA refs, at least they're not fixing games though.
- Celebrity Sightings such as: President Bush! and Henry Kissinger! Wow, cool.
- Team USA's ridiculously mean intimidating anthem.
If they come out to this song as their entrance music, I think other teams will just leave out of fear. http://www.zshare.net/audio/151192656b784ab5/
- Tayshaun Prince having a chance to get close enough to assassinate Lebron James and assure future Pistons dominance.

As soon as he sleeps, the Prince will be there...
- Hopefully a return to 30 Point wins and endless dunking on international players hopefully sparking military conflicts.

- DWade coming back from about 3000 injuries to bust @$$ in China. I don't even think he should be doing half the things he's doing out there.

- Expecting at least one of the USA team referring to medals as "bling".

Keep up the good work guys maybe one day you can earn the right to kiss the shoes of these Legends.

And if y'all mess up again. Rasheed Wallace will eat you alive.

Down with the King

2008-08-09T22:55:00.004-04:00

50 years old, a damn shame. He will be missed. And now, my favorite of his stand up:
R.I.P.

I Kissed a girl and I liked it...

2008-08-09T22:35:00.005-04:00

Yeah, I kissed a girl too, so what the hell makes this Katy Perry so damn special.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs

Why does this person feel the need to make a song about it. Congratulating themselves like its some great accomplishment. I've kissed tons of girls, a few of them were even awake.

---------------------------------Apply Now-------------------------------------

So you kissed a girl, so what who cares about you and your stupid... huh?... what's that?..... She's a chick?..... and she did what?.....

Ok. That's kind cool.

8/3/08 Oh how the Bells did Rock UPDATED

2008-08-09T00:05:00.000-04:00

UPDATED, now with 30% more Boobayay.

8:15 Alarm rings. Eyes open. The cold I caught isn't completely gone. Throat's sore nose is stuffed. Don't care. Load up on cough drops and nasal spray. Get dressed and by the time I'm done Mike is in the apartment waiting. Marcus and Naz still slumber. We kick in their doors waving some four fours, and they screamed Poppa don't hit me no more. Then we got Egg Mcmuffins and Hash Browns.

Greatest Thing on Earth

11:00 The ride over we spent discussing music of course, Mike and I go into our usual Jay-Z argument, and he exclaims he can never respect Jay-Z again, nonetheless be a fan. Arrive at Jones Beach way to early, I curse out Naz and Marcus in my head for making me be up this early. They thought we needed to be there early for some reason, as if the concert wasn't from 12:00PM-12AM. We wander around till they open the doors to the Outdoor theater. In my preparation that morning I had brought some leftover chicken from last night to eat during the day and put it in my bag. Upon getting out of the car I see bags aren't allowed and I leave it in the car, hopefully that won't cause problems later. I threaten some swans, make fun of the security guards, one of which punked out Naz for no reason. Hilarious.

12:00 Doors open allowing us to enter the venue, but not go to out seats. Just wander around for a while. There's booths with free stuff, At the end of the day my pockets contained: 2 water guns, 2 $5Burger King credit cards, Mix tape discs, flyer's, and a bunch of other crap. For the next 10 minutes we shoot each other with the water guns and hit bystanders. They should have gotten guns. Not my fault. We see WALE just walking around and absolutely no one else notices, we shout what up, he shouts what up back, then eats his $6 hot dog. He must be a rapper cause I couldn't afford that.

Fig 1: Wale (he's cool)

1:15PM WALE opens at the mini-stage. His set was def too short. Does Nike Boots, W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E., and a few other hits. Throws water to the crowd because it is ridiculously warm. Brings out Skyzoo, who does a few songs. STILL NO HACKSAW JIM DUGAN?! Nothing special.
Performance gets for disappointing length.

Here's a cypher from Wale and a few others.

2:00PM We leave the mini stage because besides Afrika Bambatta the rest of the upcoming acts we miss-able. And miss them we did. So back to the area behind the bleachers to waste time, we had more water gun fights, Mike played guitar hero at the booth, spotted some STJ peeps I still refused to buy anything because a water was $5 and a gallon of blood. And then it happened. Some cute girls in Burger King T-shirts conned us into following them (actually only one was cute, but she was so cute she made up for the other one) to the Burger King "Spit a Flame Broiled 16 (ACTUAL TITLE, I KID YOU NOT)Booth" Marcus the resident rapper is chosen to rep for us, and as we wait for him to flow, it hits me. I HAVE A CHANCE TO RAP IN A BURGER KING BOOTH. #7 on my list of things to do before I die. I select a beat sign up and let the rhymes loose when my turn comes, I believe among my lyrics are

Stab a fry guy in the eye/demand a Hershey pie/tell him if i had it my way Ronald McDonald would die.

I think Imma good bet to win the contest. 3 Out of 5 of the top 5 rappers of all time

2:30 KIDZ IN THE HALL. Main stage is opened we find our seats (not disappointed) just in time to catch one of my newer favorites groups grace the stage. And by grace the stage I mean, fumble with a broken Mac Laptop for 20 minutes. DJ Double 0 heroically steps onto stage days after leaving the hospital from a non-deserved beat down. But after the initial tech probs, the performance was lackluster, but driving down the block is my shit so it gets

3:30 It is Soooo hot, I break down and take out a loan so I can buy a Snapple iced tea, I finish it before I pay and keep the bottle. Always free refills at the water fountain. I hear someone shout F-the police and rush back to the stage.

4:00 Dead Prez. Always solid. Its always amazing to see white people sing along to lyrics about killing crackers, then again that's no where near as bad as black people ACTUALLY killing each other over rap lyrics so 1 for them 0 for us.

5:00 Immortal Technique. Not only does this performance get no hash browns, I'm going to pretend it never happened. And after a quick trip in the time machine...

5:00 DE LA SOUL. Now we're picking up, or so we thought. Instead of doing Oldie favorites like Me, Myself and I, or even the Redman aided Oooh, they do a bunch of their newer stuff. Which is still better than half of other rappers catalogues. They bring out DRES of Blacksheep who kills it. And if an entire crowd screaming Engine Engine number 9 wasn't enough, BIZ MARKIE emerges from backstage and I can bet that New Jersey could hear cries of OOOOOH BABY YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

6:00 THE PHARCYDE. The first of many reunions that night. All that matters is I finally get to see the group that created the anthem I lived by most of my life perform "Passing Me By" live. So amazing. That song alone gets them

6:45 SUPERNATURAL. This dude was hosting the show but could easily be accused of stealing it. In the Illest freestyle I have ever heard, Live or recorded, this dude took any object the crowd gave him and incorporated it into his flow immediately.
Give That man some potatoes.

7:15 GHOSTFACE & RAEKWON. I did not want to see this. I wanted Wu-tang Clan. In a night with such unity and reuniouns galore. These dudes couldn't get it together and all don the stage at once. Sure they held the stage down (along with the 100 other people up there for no reason). But denying me the Mystery of Chessboxin or even CHEZ LA GHOST?!?!?!?
Boo. First performance I sat down on. However while I was sitting down I noticed Cute-Hip-Hop Girl for the first time. She was some chick who came alone and just sat listening to her headphones during the breaks, during the show she was up dancing and singing everyword. I thought I was in love. One thing that I am a sucker for, is a girl that knows her Hip-Hop. She gets some browns.

See if you can count how many people aren't contributing anything to the performance

7:50 Oh yeah I think someone passed out or died or something.

8:00PM MOS DEF. Always amazes and did so again tonight. So much about this man I can't say it all, but I will say he was joined by Talib Kweli and Pharoahe Monch. The show could have ended after this and I would have been happy.

"Yo I dunno Kwe..."

8:45 First sighting of Boombaye, a drunken drugged out African man who would stand and pose triumphantly for the crowd like Rocky on top of the stairwell. Oh and did I mention all he had on were some overalls and you could totally see his buttcrack.
Boombaye

9:00 REDMAN AND METHODMAN. Microphone Checka swingin sword lecture... These dudes nearly take the whole show. Guest appearances by DJ Kool (letmeclearmythroat!), EPMD, and Keith Murray were only icing. These two had the most high energy/fun set of the night, encouraging the crowd to yell F&%k Redman before I'll Be dat, Method Man literally walking on the crowd and the duo climbing on top of the giant speakers before announcing How High 2.

10:30 NAS. Nasir Jones had an amazing show set up before he pulled the Ace out of the deck. Live band. New hits off his #1 album. Countless Classics: He nearly performed all of Illmatic with the entire crowd knowing every word, The World is Yours, Hate Me now, One Mic, Hell he could have performed Oochie Wally and still killed. Then. Success came on, Jigga Came Out, and it was all over.

Somehow after Hov leaves he takes back the stage and Made You Look. Browns all around

Did I mention that Mike screames like a bridesmaid catching the flowers at a wedding when Jay and Nas took the stage? He did.

11:25 Any other concert and it would have been over. Boombayai was out of liquor, I was out of Halls and my throat was gone. And after informing someone who before this I would have called a friend of the Hov appearance, she basically told me to drop dead and that she disliked me somewhat. The guys and I argued about what it would take to Top what we just saw. Among the list was Obama spitting a freestyle, Rosario Dawson, Halle Berry, and Lauren London in a threesome, or $2 for a gallon of gas. Well we didn't get that, but it was good enough.

11:30 A TRIBE CALLED QUEST. Well first Q-tip aided by Might Mos performs a few of his old solo joints (Vibrant thing, breathe and stop) and some New jams. And while it was hot, we had just seen. So he leaves and comes back with more, Ali, Phife, and the stuff of Hip Hop Legend. For the first time in 11 years Tribe rocks in NY. Bonita Applebaum, Electric Relaxation, a Consequence guest appearance, Footprints, Lyrics to Go, Find A Way (almost made me go sing to Hip Hop Chick), Award Tour and countless other songs I've been singing for years. Then they played their Ace.
Scenario. Complete with Mr. Busta Rhymes.

Busta then performs put ya hands where my eyes can see.
The tribe closes out the show with Check the Rhyme.

The night was over but hip hop lives with no death in sight. As we were walking out a group of people behind us thanked me for entertaining them as if I were part of the show. I guess I got really into the concert at some points so sue me. They got their moneys worth. Also I couldn't talk for a day after. And the car smells like chicken. Mike's kinda mad.

Editors Note: THIS POST IS IN NO WAY AN ADVERTISMENT FOR MCDONALDS. I LOATHE THAT PLACE AND NEGLECT TO EAT THERE AT ANY OCCASION BESIDES BREAKFAST. THE FACT THAT I LOVE THEIR BREAKFAST MAKES ME HATE IT EVEN MORE.

8/8/08

2008-08-08T00:40:00.002-04:00

Olympics start today.

I think I'll go for Guam.